Putting Yourself First Isn’t Selfish
It’s Essential. It’s how you protect your energy, your wellbeing, and show up fully for the people you care about
The idea of putting themselves first seems a complete anathema to most people I know. They would happily chew off their own arm rather than cancel a plan, take a well-earned rest, or say no without attaching a three-paragraph explanation and a fruit basket.
But here’s the thing. Putting yourself first isn’t about being selfish. It’s about becoming well. And a well person is far more useful to the world than an exhausted one with a packed diary, permanent eye twitch and a stress headache shaped like Wales. 🐉
When you start setting boundaries, prioritise self-care and politely escort guilt out of the building (it never brings snacks and always overstays), life starts to feel like it actually belongs to you. Rather than one long, unpaid internship in everyone else’s chaos.
Confession time - I learnt this the hard way. Total collapse in my 30s. The kind that doesn’t respond to scented candles or a weekend off. I had zero self-care skills. I was basically a human “yes” machine with no off button. Helpful, obliging but quietly resentful and permanently shattered.
So here’s some tips that I wish someone had shared with me before I imploded.
Just Say No 👎
“No” is a full sentence. It does not require an essay, a backstory or an apology tour. Just “No” works beautifully all on its own.
Health Is Not a Luxury ❤️
Sleep, rest, proper food and doing what you love are essentials, not rewards for surviving another week without rage-crying in the biscuits aisle.
Retire from People-Pleasing 🧑🤝🧑
You do not have to be everyone’s hero. Or their therapist. Surround yourself with people who only want the best for you… rather than people who just want the best…from you.
Spend Time With Yourself 👍
Spending time on your own is wildly underrated. Your own company is where you remember what you actually like. Be kind to yourself and remember - how you treat yourself sets the tone for how others treat you too. Novel concept, I know.
Trust Your Own Decisions 🧭
Your instincts know things your brain hasn’t caught up with yet. Start listening to your gut. It’s a fantastic life compass - and it rarely steers you wrong.
Choose Your People Wisely
Keep an eye on how much of you - your time, your space, and your personal energy - you’re handing out. Adjust accordingly. You’re not a free buffet.
Practice Proper Self-Care
Self-care isn’t just bubble baths, although they are very nice. What do you actually like doing? What energises you? What fills up your batteries? Do more of those things. And never, ever feel guilty about it.
Right, must dash. Time for an afternoon by myself, doing what I absolutely love. Disconnecting and curling up with a good book and some chocolate hobnobs. 🍪
